Skool Daze
by krystaldragon
Summary: Nny plays substitute at a certain skool... chaos ensues. R&R, pretty peaz?? (Third chappy has been posted!!!)
1. Enter Nny (and Squee!)

Oooo... I got this perfectly wicked idea for a fanfic by reading another of a similar type... plot's totally different so don't hurt me!! *cowers in a corner..*

Disclaimer: I own none save the plot. The rest belongs to (who else?) Jhonen Vasquez... the almighty force behind Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and Invader Zim...

Umm... plot takes place before 'Nny goes deadified and gets his spikes, and I-have-no-idea-when-the-hell-it-is-in-Zim-time... now to the story!!

Skool Trip

Chapter One

'Ugh.' Zim thought as he boarded the bus to skool. 'Another day with the human stink-beasts. I swear if the Dib-creature comes up to me one more time spouting some "alien" crap I will personally rip his head off.' He grinned to himself as he imagined the possibilities and positions in which head-ripping could be the most painful for the unsuspecting Dib-beast. That was how Dib found him as he boarded the skoolbus. 

"What are you grinning at _alien?_" he coaxed, trying to get Zim to expose himself like every other day.

Zim's eyes popped open and he sneered at Dib. "None of your filthy human business, _DIB._" He cracked his knuckles, awaiting the chance to strangle the life out of Dib. 

Dib sensed Zim's growing hostility and quickly darted to the other end of the bus, yelling "ALIEN!!!!" None of the other kids took any notice. To them, it was just another day at skool.

~*~ : ~*~ : ~*~ : ~*~ : ~*~

Meanwhile... (a/n *grins*)

Ms. Bitters was inside her classroom, preparing to yell at her students about DOOM for another eight hours. Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Enter or meet your DOOM!" she shrieked at the closed door. It slowly slid open to reveal a tall, twenty-ish man, dressed in all black with black combat boots and a black trenchcoat. Clutching one of his bone-like hands in a tight grasp was a little boy about 11 (a/n HOW THE HELL OLD ARE ZIM AND DIB????) clutching a teddy-bear. The man spoke, his pointed teeth parting in a canine-like grin. 

"Todd is enrolled in this class. You are Ms. Bitters?"

"Yes... *doom*" she whispered, unable to help herself.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" The man asked her.

"Nothing.. *doom* I was just saying... Todd?"

The man prodded the boy. He squeaked out a "yes?"

"Prepare to meet your DOOM!!!" was the reply.

Todd squeaked and hid himself in the folds of the tall man's trenchcoat. He glared at Ms. Bitters, then smiled at her, not nicely, his hand reaching into a pocket of his coat...

When suddenly the bell rang, signaling the students' entrance into the skool. "You were lucky this time, Ms. Bitters," the man whispered, his hand dropping to his side. "We shall meet again."

Todd looked up at the man. "Nny? Pppp...."

Nny shook his head. "Later Squee-gee. I'll be back here at three." He took off down the corridor, weaving his way between tiny bodies and shoving a few out of the way, muttering to himself.

~*~ : ~*~ : ~*~ : ~*~ : ~*~

Zim and Dib walked the halls of the skool, hurling insults at eachother while walking to their class. Neither of them noticed the tall man until it was too late and he bumped into Dib, sending the boy flying into Zim, who fell flat on his squeedly-spooch. "Ow..." they commented simultaneously. 

The tall man just glared at them and leapt lightly back onto his feet, avoiding at all costs any contact with his bare skin from the tiny bodies milling through the halls. Grabbing something that had fallen on the floor he all but ran for the door, leaping over heads when necessary.

Zim looked at Dib, who was absent-mindedly brushing himself off, his eyes shining with an uncharacteristic wetness. Zim shrugged, as the knowledge of tears was unknown to him at the moment. The Irken jumped to his feet and ran the rest of the way to the door, leaving the shiny-eyed human staring out the doorway after a long-gone man. "Mas...ter...." he whispered before falling to his knees. Eventually the second bell rang and he scrambled to his feet, jogging to another day of DOOM with Ms. Bitters.

Too short? Long enough? Boring? Interesting? Lemmie know, damnit!! Till next time!

~krystaldragon


	2. Killin's... Nny LIKES Killin's.... :D

Oooooo... chapter two. Kewlies... thankies to those who reviewed. Y'all get FREE TACOS!!! *munches on tortilla shell* mmmm taco.... 

Official-looking lawyer crap: I don't own Zim or Johnny the Homicidal Maniac... they are property of Jhonen Vasquez, I've just borrowed them for a bit to act out my own little fetishes... *grins* And now to the story!

****

*NOTE TO ALL SQUEAMISH PEOPLE* Number one, what the hell are you doing reading Johnny comics in the first place, cause it's kinda hard to get through an entire comic without any blood... or gore... and... well.. don't read this if ye do have a squeamish-type thingie, 'cause there is blood. And gore. And did I mention blood? Thankies for yer time. 'Twas very valuable to me and my monkeys....

Chapter Two

Skool Daze

Dib walked into the classroom, a dazed look on his face and unshed tears in his eyes. "Dib!" Ms. Bitters snapped. "You're late! Now sit down and prepare to meet your doom!"

Dib said nothing, just sat down at his desk and stared at the back of a girl's head for the entire day of skool. At recess he mechanically got up from his desk and walked out the door, one thought going through his mind the entire time. 'Trenchcoat man... idol... must... speak... to... trenchcoat... man....' (a/n: there's a kid at my skool who my friends and I call trenchcoat kid... he's nothing like Nny, though :-(... )

Zim stared at the strange Dib-child as he robotically moved from the doorway to a corner of the building and sat down. Curious, he walked over to the motionless meat-boy and poked him. Nothing.

'Normally,' Zim thought, 'he'd rant about aliens and my destruction... hmmm...' he poked Dib again. Still nothing. 'Strange stink-beast.' For once Zim wished he had been able to bring along a portable version of his Computer along, because the Dib-creature was really confusing him. 'Just this morning he was... normal. But now...' he nudged Dib with his foot for the last time, then walked away to collect his own thoughts. "Hmmm..." he murmured aloud. Suddenly Dib began speaking.

"Trenchcoat man... idol... speak... must... yes... speak..." Dib grinned scarily, then his eyes went blank.

'As blank as GIR's when he... yes...' "I have it!" he shouted suddenly, and jumped to his feet. "the Dib-creature has suffered from the GIR dent! Muahahaha, filthy human stink-beasts, I shall conquer you yet!!" Zim stopped shouting to see the entire playground staring in his direction. "Uh..." he muttered, edging out of the line of sight of the mini-stink beasts. 

~*~ : ~*~ : ~*~ :~*~ : ~*~

One human child watched the strange proceedings with interest, especially when the spike-haired boy that looked almost like a younger Nny muttered about a 'trenchcoat man.' "Shmee?" he asked his teddy-bear, carefully hidden in his backpack after a morning of teasing he still shuddered at. "Was he talking about Nny, do you think?"

A small voice from the back of his head answered Squee. "Yes."

"Should _I_ tell Nny about this one?"

This time the voice was insistent. "No. You know what Nny'd do. He hates posers. Remember Mmy?"

Squee shuddered as he remembered the mangled body of a fan of Johnny's. "Yea.." he squeaked. "Do you really think Nny would do that to the kid?"

"Squee, he almost 'did' it to Ms. Bitters this morning! Of course he would! The only thing you can do is keep that kid from becoming a wall-hanging."

"Ugg." Squee contorted his face into a mask of disgust as he imagined Dib hanging on Nny's wall by his shoulder blades, palms, or even worse, toenails. "You're right, Shmee. I wouldn't want to wish that on anyone."

"Good. Now go, recess is over."

And so it was. The skool populace of human stink-beasts, Irken Invaders, and Teddy-Bearic voices filed back into the building for the afternoon classes. Squee unconsciously stayed nearby to the Nny look-alike for little more than familiarity and for protection from what was so familiar to the little Squee. (a/n: Did that make any sense to you?... No? Goooooodd...)

~*~ : ~*~ : ~*~ : ~*~ : ~*~

Ms. Bitters closed up her room for the last time that day. Climbing into her car and driving off, she muttered to herself about finally giving the little brats what she had been preaching about for so long—their doom. She was knee-deep in a plan that she thought might work when, unbeknownst to her she slammed into a parked car, so absorbed was she with her planning. She finally looked up when she noticed her car wasn't moving anymore, believing herself to be home. Then she noticed the dented car directly in front of her. "Oh, god-doom," she said. 

That was when the owner of the decrepit heap imbedded on her bumper walked out of the 24/7 that it was parked in front of, slurping a Brain Freezy. *slurp, slurp slur-* the Freezy dropped to the ground in front of Ms. Bitters' car. Quickly getting out she went over to the owner to explain what happened. He listened for a little while, amused, while she rambled on and on, not noticing that this was the same man who had threatened her just ten hours earlier.

Nny waved the old woman's ramblings to a halt before speaking. "I told you we'd meet again, Ms. Bitters." He drew one of his favorite knives, the one with the little unhappy faces on the pommel, out of his trenchcoat. It was still coated in the blood of its latest kill; the unfortunate 24/7 clerk who had short changed him four cents. "Any last words?"

Ms. Bitters gulped. "Doom?"

Nny grinned demonically. "Nice try." As cleanly as a knife slices through butter, so easily did Nny's frown-y face-d blade slide through Ms. Bitters' stomach, her innards spilling onto the tarmac. Nny carefully, with a surgeon's precision, carved out first her intestines and stomach before digging deeper in to release her old, withered liver from its bindings within her body. Finally to end the _screaming_ in his ear, Nny cut out Ms. Bitters' heart, stuffing it down her throat to silence her. Nodding in delight at his handiwork, Nny wiped his blade off on the old woman's ruined dress and turned to gaze at his ruined Brain Freezy. "Fook. Look what you did, you made me drop my Brain Freezy. Ah well." Shrugging, he walked back into the 24/7, filled another cup full of Cherry Brain Freezy and walked out, tossing some money onto the corpse at the counter.

Ya gotta lemmie know! Like, hate, good, bad, more, snore.... I'm running out of opposites here!!! Just R&R, s'ahdite? 


	3. Whodah thunk? Nny? A substitute?

Eeep! Sorry it took me so long to post people! Skool's been a bitch and the weekends are now the only time I get to sit down and _write_ for once without a deadline up my ass, so don't hurt me! *cowers* But anywho, because of unknown forces of vile-ness, I can only now post about once a week, twice if I'm lucky. So here, before anymore of those stinking monkeys catches up with me, is the third chappy to Skool Daze.

Stuff that I don't own: the characters to this fic, except the principal and his stupid secretary. Jhonen Vasquez owns Zim and Nny and Dib and GIR and Squee and Shmee... must I go on?

Chapter Three

Skool Daze

On the way to skool the next day, Nny was unusually quiet. He stayed silent most of the way there, eyes straight ahead and brow furrowed, deep in thought. Squee was about to ask him what was wrong when he spoke.

"Squee-gee," he began slowly, choosing his words with the utmost care. "What would the skool do if, say, a teacher didn't show up for skool the morning after—" he stopped, cursing himself for his slip-up.

"The morning after what?" Squee squeaked.

'The morning after she got dissected,' Nny thought perversely, but instead said lamely, "Umm... she, disappeared?"

'Uh-oh,' Squee thought. 'Shmee, did Nny have anything to do with this?' he asked mentally, squeezing the teddy-bear in his lap tightly.

"Yes," the voice responded grumpily. "Now lemmie 'lone. I'm tired."

"Sorry," Squee whispered softly.

Nny heard him. "What was that?"

"Umm, nothing. I was going to say that the skool would supply a substitute until the, uh, teacher reappeared."

Nny relaxed slightly as Squee mentioned the skool supplication of a sub, but then tightened as he finished the sentence. "Forever?" he murmured, frightened at the idea of having to teach the (shudder) children for the rest of his life, even if it was different from his normal day job.

Thankfully, though, Squee shook his head. "No, not forever. Just until the skool can find a permanent replacement if the teacher doesn't reappear within two weeks." He looked at Nny, all trace of fear wiped away by curiosity. "Why?"

Nny shuddered, none too pleased at having to teach for even two weeks. 'At least its not for the rest of your life,' he thought grumpily. "No reason," he said in response to Squee's query. Squee was about to say more when they arrived at the little one's new skool. "We're here," Nny said hurriedly, and Squee quickly stuffed his bear back into his backpack before getting out of the car (which, incidentally was Ms. Bitters' dented vehicle, since Nny's was in the shop for repairs) and heading up the stairs of the building to wait for the bell.

"Fook," Nny muttered, as he searched for a parking space and checked the time. It was twenty minutes before the start of the skool day, and he had to get to the main office to figure out how to substitute before then. But first... 'Ha,' he thought, parking in an empty space directly in back of the building, near a set of doors. Climbing out of the dented wreck of Ms. Bitters' car, he scrambled up the path to the door, narrowly missing the tiny scurrying bodies of students all the way to the office.

He eventually made it, and stood, panting, on the other side of the door when a voice startled him. "Can I help you?"

The speaker was a young woman, bouncy, blonde, and buxom. Just the type he hated. With a snarl he almost launched himself at the woman before he remembered where he was and what he was there for. Instead he busied himself with his trenchcoat, shoving his hands in his pockets and walking up to her desk. "Yea," he responded to her question, "where is Ms. Bitters' classroom? I'm her new substitute."

The lady looked him up and down, taking in his black attire, spiked hair and combat boots before gazing into his eyes, surprise evident in hers. "I wasn't aware she needed a sub..." she began.

"That's because you're the damn secretary, woman!" A new voice assaulted the pair from inside a second doorway. "Good morning, sir, I'm the princi_pal_ of this skool, James Walker." Nny noted with a slight quirk of his eyebrow the emphasis on "pal" and filed the man away along with his annoying secretary for future disposing of. "Pleased to meet you Mister..."

"Johnny. Johnny C. (a/n: First Mate Smee of the good ship Jolly Roger in Peter Pan had a cutlass named Johnny Corkscrew... coincidence? O.o....)" Nny said quietly. He ignored the proffered hand, choosing instead to turn and walk around the office, thinking of the various ways he could fillet these two.

Finally after what seemed an interminable silence, the principal spoke. "Just how long _will_ you be staying?"

Nny turned around and spread his hands to indicate an unknown amount of time. "Just until you can find a replacement if Ms. Bitters doesn't return." 

Mr. Walker glanced around the room and sat down in a chair, fiddling with a pen he had found. "So two weeks then?"

Nny nodded his head. "Yea."

The principal nodded his acquiescence and Nny left, heading down the hall toward what he hoped was Ms. Bitters' classroom.

~*~ : ~*~ : ~*~ : ~*~ : ~*~

Zim and Dib sat in their classroom, awaiting Ms. Bitters and another boring day of DOOM. Surprisingly, she didn't show up exactly on time as she had done the past mornings for the many years they had been there, and Dib began to become worried.

"Maybe she was abducted by aliens! Or what about the jolly green giant?" He dashed around the room, trying to get the others to believe his speculations. "YOU!" He shouted when he got around to Zim. "YOUR FILTHY ALIEN FRIENDS KILLED HER, DIDN'T THEY??"

Zim looked blandly at the stink-beast in front of him. "Sorry, this time you're wrong, filthy stink-beast. 'Twas not I who did away with the annoying Ms. Bitters, although I wish it were..." The Irken ducked behind his desk to formulate some plan for world domination, while the other students of the room chatted and threw paper airplanes and spit wads at Dib, save one.

Squee took in the proceedings as he squeezed himself deeper into the depths of his desk, clutching his backpack with the teddy-bear inside. 'They _know_,' he thought to Shmee, 'They know about Nny and Ms. Bitters. What am I going to do?'

The bear's voice sounded strangled. 'First, you're NOT going to squeeze me like that again, I can't breathe! And second, they _don't_ know. They're just guessing correctly without knowing it. Now be quiet, Nny's almost here.'

Bear and boy shut up as a tall figure entered the room, wearing the familiar black on black with black trenchcoat and combat boots, and black spiked hair. He silently slipped across the room, sitting in Ms. Bitters' desk and waiting it seemed, for everyone to notice him. It took a while, and his amused expression was grew colder and colder until finally the last person stopped yammering and sat and stared at the man at the desk. 

It was only then that he spoke. "Welcome class. I am your new substitute, Johnny C."

Ooo.. cliffy.. I know, I hate them too, but there will only be a few of them, so don't worry. So, like it, hate it? What? TELL MEEEEEE!!!! *runs away screaming and pulling her hair* Clicky-clicky pweaze with a cherry on top!


End file.
